Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Name

I have become discontent with using my current surname. It belongs to my ex-husband and every time I have to use it, I am reminded of things I no longer wish to remember. Since I don't have access to the process used in the movie, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.," I am making the necessary changes which are within my power to make. Which brings me back to the surname. For this part of the country, my current last name is highly unusual. There are only the two of us within a 600-mile radius from here. So, why don't I just make it easier on myself and go back to my maiden name? I could do that, although it is unusual too and I don't like it very much. Plus what fun to explore the possibilities, give myself the opportunity to pick something that describes me and how I wish the world to remember me...or at least my little corner of it. How many opportunities do we get like that in a lifetime?

Bynames, later called surnames came about when populations of villages grew to the point where there was a need to differentiate between people having the same first name. Adjectives describing some physical aspect of a person were used such as John Short or Eric White. Nouns and adjectives were also combined, for example King Edward I of England was Edward Longshanks because he was 6'8", very tall or long in the shanks, for a man of that time. This type of naming fits into the category of nicknaming.

Of course, occupational and status bynames, meaning the job that you did in the village or the station you held in the village such as Knight, provided another good way of distinguishing a person. It was then easy to know John the Shoemaker from John Cooper, the barrel maker. Patronymic names, or identifying you as your father's child and in some cultures, identifying you as your mother's child known as a metronymic byname. Most people realize that Mac is the Scots' way of identifying the "son of" so McLeod, would be the Son of Leod. The Irish used Fitz.

Another interesting way of distinguishing a person was through toponymic bynames, or naming you after the place that you were born or raised. Thorpe is a farm or village, so Jim Thorpe would be well, Farmer Jim.

So my search for a new moniker has tons of possibilities. I love kayaking and being on the water. Rivers or Waters may be a good choice. I think "Hydraulic" would suck. (sorry, inside kayak joke). I tried blending my scant Cherokee heritage in with the water theme, but the word river or water in the language is even more difficult than my current last name.

I looked at Gaelic. Very interesting choices, very hard pronunciation, funny letter combinations and accents. People already have such trouble with the three-syllables I have now, so those are probably out too. I looked up the Celtic river goddesses. To the Celts, the river was the divine giver of life. It was by rivers that their people spread to places all over Europe. Every river had its goddess watching over it. Hmmmm...maybe, although some would be extremely funny. Here are a few of those:

Alwin: An ancient Celtic word from a river or stream. The name may mean shining white stream.
The name derives from Amelrsaet. It has three elements the first is 'a' a primitive word for a river, the second is 'melr' a sandbank. The third is 'saetr', a Viking word for a shieling.(A shieling is a shepherd's hut or a mountain pasture used in summer, no thanks!)

Blyth:A Celtic river name of unknown meaning, although many Celtic river names simply mean 'river'. Eden is an old Celtic word referring to a river or stream, a village called Yoden once existed where the town of Peterlee stands today. (Now I know what Gwennyth Paltrow's mommy's name means...it also could explain why she named her daughter, Apple, although I'm convinced she wanted a free computer.)

Catterick is thought to take its name from the Latin Cataracta meaning waterfall. It may be named from its proximity to the River Swale which flows very swiftly nearby. (Here come either the eye problem or cow jokes)

Eas pronounced "ay-s" means waterfall. (Right, let the jokes begin about falling on my Eas... however, kayakers are often called "butt" boaters by canoeists and rafters)

Glais pronounced "glis" means stream.

Loch pronounced "lock" means lake.

Abhainn pronounced "av-in" means river. It's English equivalent is Avon. (Ding Dong!...you have to be a certain age to get it.)

Allt pronounced "all-t" means stream. (Gee, one of my former neighbors, another kayaker, had this surname spelled a little differently. Can't copy him.)

The Main River Goddess: Celtic gods bears as her name *Danu, the ancient word for 'river'. (Yep, that's where the Danube River gets its name.)

Belisama: Celtic, Goddess of light and fire, the forge and of crafts and goddess of the Mersey River. (Well, I think Lisa Belisama would just sound silly.)

Sabrina: The Celtic river goddess of the river Severn.

Tamesis: The Celtic goddess of fresh waters. Her name is found in the River Thames and in Tamise, a French name for the Schedle. (ok, I live and play on the James River...would that make me Jamesis?)

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I haven't even explored the possibilities of my work, graphic design or toponymic, patronymic or metronymic possibilities. Gee, it would be so much easier to return to my maiden name, but a lot less fun to think about.

Have any name suggestions? Seriously.